Blood-sucking vampire fish flooded many rivers in the UK, making scientists ponder

I’ve seen one of these in person when I went to the beach once… saw a bunch of holes in the sand, so I floated above the water and watched them, curiously. I saw one of these creeps pop out, with its many, many teeth, and I swear, I’ve never rushed out of the water faster than I have that day.

Completely failed to mention that these are living fossils, they are not fish but rather descendents of the earliest vertebrae that fit into none of the other classes of vertebrae, since unlike those they do not posses a jaw, but they do have a spine and no fish bones. Apparently they even taste more like turkey rather than fish. Really weird animals.